Yes it’s true, sometimes we need a reminder to put a little pizzazz back into our marriage. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine and not realize that we have neglected to invest in our relationship with our spouse.
Not here to condemn…I am guilty, of doing this very thing!
But I would like to share with you 3 simple steps I use to get back on the right track.
1. Return to the Basics
Make a list of all the things you love about your spouse & go a step further by making a point to Celebrate these things!
You can do this simply-
* by communicating how much you appreciate him/her verbally.
*Write out a quick note and place it where you know he/she is sure to
see it.
*Be sure to communicate using his or her love language.
2. Schedule a date night- regularly.
It doesn’t have to be set in stone, I understand things come up…but going out once a year for an anniversary dinner is not what I mean by “regularly” . Do not neglect to make time for each other at least once a month without the kids.
You do not have to break the budget to go out on a date.
* go out for coffee
*go for a walk
*go for a drive
*have a picnic
The point is spending time together!
Do not talk about family issues on your date...schedule another time to resolve family issues. Yes of course it is important to communicate and resolve family conflict…but date night is not the venue for problem solving.
3. Erase your score card…if you are keeping one.
“To truly re-energize your marriage you have to be willing to forgive and forget! Yes let it go- all the times your spouse hurt you, whether it was intentional or not”.
~I made a choice early on in my marriage…and that choice was…
“not to keep record of wrong doing”.
For me that means
* not rehearsing, over and over in my thoughts how I’ve been hurt.
*It means when I say I forgive you, I really forgive you and don’t bring it up again and again.
*It means I don’t look for opportunities to remind you of your past mistakes.
I do not want to sound insensitive, I know people can sometimes do really rotten things on purpose. I am not referring to those types of situations.
Also I am not saying not to confront or communicate when you feel hurt or mistreated. I am simply pointing out the importance of not rehearsing past hurts after they have been addressed and forgiven.
With that said…
Be intentional about keeping the ” score card” cleared off.
Here’s an extra “low cost” idea for spending time with your spouse~ I love reading with my husband. Together we decide on the book. Usually Tom reads to me & then we share our thoughts. Easy peasy & cheesy but it’s my favorite=]
I would love to hear from you! Please feel free to share the things you have found helpful in re-energizing your marriage.
Thank you for stopping by~